There’s a thought that shows up almost every time someone decides they want to change something about themselves. It doesn’t arrive as a big announcement. It’s more like a quiet, reasonable-sounding excuse: “That’s for people with more time.” Or “That’s for people with more money.” Or “I’m not one of them… they’re more talented, more disciplined, more capable.”
And that’s exactly how the myth is born—that personal growth is a privilege, like a private club for the “chosen,” where only people with perfect conditions get in. The rest of us stand outside and tell ourselves, “Someday… when I have more time. When I’m calmer. When things finally settle down.”
But that “someday” usually doesn’t come.
The myth feels comfortable because it protects us from disappointment. If you believe you need special resources, then you don’t have to start. You don’t have to risk making mistakes. You don’t have to face the truth that change is slow and sometimes uncomfortable. So the mind finds a safe exit: “It’s not for me.” And everything stays the same.
But reality is different. Personal growth isn’t a luxury. It’s a set of small choices you make in everyday life—choices that gradually change your direction.
People often imagine self-improvement as something big: expensive trainings, long seminars, a perfect schedule, a “new me” in 30 days. And if you don’t have that, then… you can’t do it. But real change almost always starts small. Sometimes it starts with five minutes. Sometimes it starts with one sentence you say to yourself in a different way. Sometimes it starts with the simple honesty of: “I want to feel better. And I’m willing to do something—however small.”
Another piece of the myth is the belief that you need “talent.” That some people are naturally disciplined and motivated, while others just aren’t. But most of the time, it’s not about talent. It’s about practice. Repetition. Coming back again—even when it’s hard.
No one is born “advanced” at self-improvement. Nobody starts at the top. You start on the ground—with one small habit that’s realistic. And that’s the key: realistic.
Because “I don’t have time” often doesn’t mean there is literally no time. More often it means the mind is overloaded and looking for the easiest way to avoid adding another task. That’s human. But if you can find ten minutes to scroll, you can find ten minutes for something that supports you. Not an hour every day. Not a grand reinvention. Just enough to send yourself a signal: “I matter.”
Personal growth isn’t an academic discipline. There are no exams. No “you failed.” There’s just a process. Curiosity. Small actions that add up. And the best part is that many resources are accessible—books, articles, simple practices, short exercises. But even that isn’t the main point.
The main point is to begin with one question that’s truly simple:
“What’s the next small step I can take today?”
Not “How do I change my whole life?” Not “How do I become a completely new person?” Just the next small step.
It might be three deep breaths in the morning. Five minutes of quiet. One page of a book. A decision not to talk to yourself as harshly as you’re used to. A quick note in your journal: what felt hard today, and what helped.
And here’s what matters: it doesn’t matter how fast you move. It matters that you keep moving. Even in small steps. Even with days when it doesn’t go the way you hoped. That isn’t failure. That’s life.
The truth is, the path isn’t open only to the “chosen.” It’s open to anyone who’s willing to begin without waiting for perfect conditions. Because perfect conditions almost never arrive. But the next small step can happen today.
What’s your small step? Not the big one—the small, real one.
Author: Noelle R. Hartwyn
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